Most people have the luxury to wake up in the morning and not analyze their day. They get up, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and continue with their daily obligations (work, grocery shopping, their children's sports, dinner with their family). People with a chronic illness such as lupus, fibromyalgia, and lyme disease wake up in the morning and first assess how much energy they have. Next, they compare that energy to what activities they hope to accomplish that day. This includes taking a shower, feeding the dog, and getting the children to school. The challenging part is this. Each of these activities require a certain number of units of energy (so to speak). If the person with lupus wakes up with 20 units of energy but the daily activities require 250 units, then the person is forced to prioritize what are already priorities. This is essentially known as The Spoon Theory, created by Christine Miserandino. The Spoon Theory is her analogy on what it is like living with an autoimmune condition. In other words, people with autoimmune conditions are given so many spoons, or servings, of energy a day and they never know how many there are going to be. Sometimes there are none.
While Christine's analogy has been the most accurate description on what life is like with my condition, it does leave out the viscous nature of the aches and pains that coincide. Though, I suppose that is another post. The Spoon Theory also does not depict the social/emotional repercussions. The first activities put aside are usually the ones that maintain a person's sense of belonging and feeling cared for (taking a coffee break with a friend, training for a half marathon, playdates with friends and their children). The priorities become getting the children fed, on the bus, driven to preschool, and making it your third doctor appointment that month. If it is a really bad day then even those get cut down and prioritized. Even the most compulsive person will leave dishes in the sink, tumbleweeds of dog hair on the floor, and piles of laundry unfolded.
The wrath of autoimmune is relentless and unforgiving. It not only affects the person afflicted, it also significantly affects the lives of their spouse and children. Although I still have my days of pure anger and frustration because of this, I can say that I have certainly learned some valuable lessons. You know that saying "Don't sweat the small stuff?" I have embraced that whole heartedly. Some how it's easier now. I also live in the moment more often than I ever have before. It makes moments so much more enjoyable and I worry significantly less. I have also learned what priorities really are. And, it isn't getting the dishes in the dishwasher (ok, Mr. KAP I may still have my moments but I have become a million times better at this!). So, if anything at all, I can at least say that my limited spoons have helped me grow into a stronger, happier person.